“I’ll deal with it when life settles down.” But it’s still affecting you.

Is that thing you keep saying you will deal with one day, still showing up when you least expect or want it to, and impacting how you want to live your life?

Perhaps there’s something you keep telling yourself you’ll deal with later.

When life settles down. When you have more time. When everyone else is okay.

An experience that still brings up a strong reaction (even thinking about it leaves your heart racing or your chest tight).

A belief about yourself that keeps getting in the way (that you’re not good enough, not worthy or that everyone else’s needs should come first).

A familiar pattern you’re tired of repeating (overthinking, saying yes when you mean no, or keeping busy to avoid how you feel).

Most of the time, you get on with things. You work, look after people, answer messages and do what needs doing.

But every so often, something reminds you it’s still there.

You find yourself thinking about it in the quiet moments. Having the same argument in your head. Holding back when you want to move forward. Or reacting in a way that leaves you wondering, Why does this still affect me so much?

If something came to mind while you were reading that, perhaps it deserves a little space.

It doesn’t have to be a huge event

Sometimes we spend so much time deciding whether something is “bad enough” that we never give ourselves permission to talk about it.

Other people have been through worse.

It was years ago.

It wasn’t a big deal.

I should be over it.

But an experience doesn’t have to look dramatic from the outside to have an impact.

It might be a relationship where you learned to question yourself. A medical experience that left you feeling powerless. A difficult birth. A loss you had little room to grieve. A moment of humiliation, rejection or fear that still feels uncomfortable to remember.

It might also be a series of smaller experiences that shaped what you came to believe about yourself.

My needs are too much.

I have to keep everyone happy.

I’m only worthwhile when I’m useful.

It’s safer to do everything myself.

You might not have one particular memory you want to work on. You may simply notice that something keeps getting in the way of how you want to live.

That’s enough to start a conversation.

Sometimes it shows up in everyday life

You might notice it when you make a small mistake and spend the evening pulling yourself apart.

When someone seems disappointed and you immediately feel responsible for making it better.

When you want to say no, but the guilt feels harder to tolerate than saying yes.

Or when you finally have a moment to rest, yet find yourself unable to settle.

Perhaps you know you’re capable, but each new opportunity brings up the same familiar feeling of not being good enough.

You may already understand the pattern. You can explain where it came from and recognise it as it happens. Yet changing how you feel or respond is still difficult.

That can be frustrating, especially when you’ve already put a lot of thought and effort into understanding yourself.

We can begin there, too.

Certain dates and situations can bring it closer again

Sometimes something you haven’t thought about for a while suddenly feels close.

An anniversary. A birthday. Christmas. A family gathering. Returning to a particular place, or facing a new experience that reminds you of an old one.

You might notice yourself becoming tense before seeing someone, feeling unsettled as a date approaches, or dreading a situation you wish felt easier.

You don’t have to judge yourself for being affected again. It can be an opportunity to gently notice what comes up and consider what support you might need.

Finding time for yourself can be part of the challenge

Even when you want support, making room for it isn’t always straightforward.

There’s work, family, money, appointments and the practical business of keeping life moving.

And if you’re used to putting other people first, setting aside time for yourself can feel unfamiliar. You might keep waiting for a quieter patch, only to find that something else fills it.

Regular therapy can offer valuable, ongoing space. For some people, that rhythm works well.

Others find it difficult to settle into something important when the session is nearly over. Or they would prefer to set aside a more concentrated period of time to focus on a particular concern.

An EMDR Intensive offers another way to make that space.

What an EMDR Intensive looks like with me

My EMDR Intensives offer seven hours of personalised therapy across approximately two weeks, through three two-hour sessions and a one-hour follow-up.

I combine EMDR and Resource Therapy, tailoring the work to your needs, goals and readiness.

We begin by exploring what you’d like support with and what feels important for me to understand. Preparation and resourcing are part of the work, alongside processing and time to integrate.

There’s room for the part of you that wants things to change, and the part that might feel uncertain about beginning.

Longer sessions allow more time to settle in, explore what comes up, take breaks and ground before finishing.

You don’t need to arrive with a perfectly organised story, and you won’t be expected to describe every painful detail.

We work at a pace that respects your nervous system, with space to pause, slow down or change direction.

The format gives us focused time together. What we work on, and how much we do, depends on what is appropriate for you. Some people need additional preparation or ongoing support, and regular sessions may be a better fit. We explore this together before proceeding.

What would you like to make room for?

Perhaps you’d like an old experience to take up less space in your present life.

Perhaps you want to feel more able to speak up, rest, trust yourself or approach something you’ve been avoiding.

Or perhaps you’re simply tired of saying, “I’m fine,” when there’s something you wish you could talk about.

You don’t have to wait until you’re overwhelmed to seek support. You’re allowed to give something your attention while you’re still managing everyday life.

There’s no deadline, and you don’t need to have everything figured out before reaching out.

You can start with:

“There’s something that keeps coming up for me, and I’d like some help with it.”

That’s a perfectly good place to begin.

Explore whether an intensive could suit you

I offer EMDR Intensives at The Coastal Wellness Cottage in East Gosford, on the Central Coast, and online across Australia, subject to suitability.

If you’d like to ask questions or explore whether this approach could be right for you, enquire about a free 20-minute discovery call.

[Enquire about an EMDR Intensive]

Kate x