Pregnancy and Infant Loss
“Lighting a candle to remember all those little lives lost to soon”.
Understanding Grief and Finding Support
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time to acknowledge a grief that touches so many people, yet is often left unspoken.
Pregnancy and infant loss can take many forms; difficulties conceiving, fertility issues, miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of a baby shortly after birth. In Australia:
Around 150,000 women experience miscarriage each year
Approximately 1,750 babies are stillborn annually
Around 850 infants die within the first 28 days of life
These numbers are heartbreaking, but they are more than statistics. They represent families, hopes, and love that will always matter.
Speaking Honestly About Loss
I haven’t posted about this before, honestly, because I wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was, or how to say it. And that’s important to acknowledge.
It’s okay if you don’t know what to say to someone who has experienced loss. It’s okay to worry about saying the wrong thing, or about upsetting them. You don’t need perfect words. You just need to show up.
Lived experiences
From supporting women and families in the Counselling space, one thing is clear: people want their grief to be seen, heard, and validated. They want their loss to be acknowledged not fixed, not rushed, not minimised.
Grief after pregnancy or infant loss is often complex. It can include what’s known as “disenfranchised grief”. Grief that society doesn’t always recognise or validate. Because these losses are not always visible, people can feel isolated, unsure if they “have permission” to grieve openly.
Disenfranchised grief is real, and it matters. It is not lesser grief, it is grief that deserves compassion, acknowledgement, and space.
How to Support Someone Experiencing Loss
If someone you know is grieving:
You don’t need to fix it.
Show up, listen, and acknowledge them.
Everyone responds differently to grief. That’s okay.
Asking how they are gives them the choice to share or not. That choice can be precious.
Sometimes, simply being present is the most powerful support.
Support Services in Australia
If you or someone you know is grieving, help is available. These organisations offer counselling, resources, and connection:
Griefline – free, confidential grief support
Gidget Foundation – support for perinatal and maternal mental health
Red Nose – bereavement support for families affected by stillbirth or neonatal death
COPE (Centre of Perinatal Excellence) – resources for pregnancy and infant loss
Lifeline – 24/7 crisis support (Call 13 11 14)
A Message to Those Grieving
To anyone walking this journey, you are not alone.
Your grief is valid. Your loss is real.
Grief may change shape over time, but it does not disappear. Life may look different, and the world may feel altered, but your loss is never forgotten, and there is support, care, and understanding available every step of the way.
Kate x
